Discover Your Inner Julia Sugarbaker . . . Be A Spitfire When It Matters

If you were a Designing Women fan then you recognized the reference in the title. Julia Sugarbaker was the elegant, classy, southern woman portrayed by actress Dixie Carter in the 90s television sitcom. Julia had the ability to speak her mind respectfully, but in a way that left no one questioning where she stood on a matter.

I grew up having strong, southern women around me who spoke their mind. As a child and teen, my need to speak my mind got me in trouble more times than I care to recall. However, I was always pretty good at knowing just how far to press and always in what settings it was acceptable.

My ability to be assertive and speak my mind didn't continue into early adulthood. I'm not quite sure what or how it was squashed, but it was. Maybe it was just moving into new territory and losing some of the self assurance I once had, but post college graduation and upon beginning my first professional job in my career field I became "Agreeable Annie". Okay so I just coined the term, but you get the point. I became the "yes girl". I did what I was told, didn't question authority and got my job done regardless of the personal sacrifices or turmoil it created.

I drifted along in this manner for the first year to year and a half and it almost had a devastating effect on my career.  It must have been evident that I wasn't loving life, because my boss took me to lunch one day just me and her (it had never happened before) and quizzed me on where I saw myself in the organization and wanted to know my level of commitment. You see, when you never speak your mind, you become invaluable and you feel invisible. It affects your morale and makes people question your commitment to the team.

It wasn't that I worked in an organization that didn't welcome employees sharing their thoughts, but I was simply unsure of what was acceptable based on my bottom-of-the-totem pole status. Due to the gregarious and extraverted personalities with which I worked, it was also pretty easy for me to simply remain silent.

However, it was clear after that lunch meeting that if I wanted to be successful and be considered for promotional opportunities I had to become an employee that brought value . . . and this I achieved by sharing my thoughts and opinions.

Because my personality was so different from those I worked with, I brought a much more introspective look at projects and their impacts. I looked through a very different set of glasses when approaching a project and in voicing that view it often made team members step back and evaluate a little more before pulling the trigger, not always, but often.

In sharing my opinions, and seeing they were often very valuable contributions, I not only gained back some of the self assurance I once had, but I also gained respect from my co-workers. They discovered I could think for myself and began to see me as a valuable member of the team. 

I'm so thankful I had this learning and development experience, because my ability to be assertive was critical at my next job. I never would have been able to survive the environment had a I not had the ability to defend my position on an issue or initiative. There were moments I had to channel Julia Sugarbaker and take a stance when it mattered. I cringe to think how that next job experience would have turned out had I not learned the importance of being assertive at my previous job.