At one time or another we've all observed some other woman and secretly wished we were her. It happens to all of us. It's the "grass is greener" perspective. The typical things we tell ourselves . . . she is so pretty . . . everyone loves to be around her . . . she seems comfortable no matter who she is around . . . she just has it all together.
So is there any possibility you can one day be THAT woman? The answer is no. But you can achieve the self-assurance that woman has . . . but how?
It seems that a large portion of the self-assurance that is common among leaders comes from the acceptance and understanding each one has of his/her personal strengths and weaknesses.
On many, many occasions I've admired the attributes of some other woman wishing I could somehow clone her ability to never meet a stranger, or bring humor to every situation, or just be so cool, calm and collected regardless of what comes her way. After years of longing to have the gifts of another, I think I'm finally coming to the point that I accept myself for who I am. I, like everyone else, have a combination of strengths and weaknesses. As humans, we tend to focus on our shortcomings, so I'm thankful for those friends, family and co-workers who have helped me recognize my strengths over the years. There are still days when I doubt that I have any strengths. . . I think that is simply part of life, but I recognize I do excel in areas where others don't and vice versa.
One thing I've found has tremendously helped me to accept who I am is better understanding my personality type. Here is a very short online sample personality profile. (If you've never taken a personality profile, they can be eerily accurate.)
By understanding your natural tendencies, you realize why you react to situations the way you do, and it helps you better recognize the strengths and weaknesses of your personality type. It brings to light the areas you need to work on to overcome those personality tendencies.
(These personality profiles can also be incredibly helpful to better understand your co-workers.)
My personality profile (which I've taken three times and each time has been the same) was dead on accurate. I have finally come to terms with the fact that I'll never be the charismatic, super excitable, life of the party gal. It simply isn't in my personality make up as much as I wish it was. The great thing is, my success doesn't rely on that attribute. The personality profile, however, did make me realize that I absolutely have to do a better job of connecting with people. While getting lost in my own little world of tasks and to dos is what comes naturally, this attribute is something that could really hinder me in my career (and I'm sure to some degree already has). Thankfully, this is something I have the ability to work on and improve at.
The point is, by understanding where your base lines are, you know which areas come naturally and which areas might require a little more work. There will always be attributes we admire and never possess, but that is not to say that if we work hard enough we can't grow stronger in some of our weak areas. In the end, it will also help you gain more self-assurance.
At some point and time we've all experienced the same emotions, whether a single twenty something, a new mother, or a seasoned professional there have been moments in our lives when we questioned our abilities, our purpose, and our sanity. This blog is dedicated to helping women connect, find resources, and learn from the experiences of others. We'll touch on a variety of topics, so check in often and share your experiences with us too.
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